It’s okay that I feel. I’ve felt joy. I’ve felt rage. I’ve felt the dark and nasty feelings, the ones I had imagined only belonged to the meanest criminals. I’ve also felt what I used to think was only attainable by the masters of enlightenment.
It does not matter if I’ve had particular experiences or not, or if I’ve done certain things or not, or whether I share someone’s opinion or not, I have felt every emotion there is to feel … at least, it feeeeels like I have.
At times, I have gotten some relief by seeing both sides of an opinion or by understanding behaviors and reactions to situations without judging them, but my truest freedom has come when I have let go of the judgements that I have about my emotional response to something or someone.
I titled this painting “Behind the Stance” and began writing the first three paragraphs above. Then I stopped because I had no idea what the title even meant or what it had to do with what I was writing. It just came to me when I looked at the painting. Mary Ann has asked me why I don’t ever take a stance when we’re talking about politics or some difficult issue of the day. I’ve said that I really do feel like I am taking a stance.
But, what is the stance I’m taking?
How can “peace” be my stance while I’m “arguing” that well-being and connection to Source is the key? The key to what … a successful life? Is my life really successful when I feel like I want so much more than I seem to have in the way of money, prominence, clarity and freedom?
How can “honesty” be my stance when I tell Dr. Lanjopoulos (my chiropractor) that I’m coming in to get checked because I had been cutting firewood yesterday, yet, I leave out that I’ve also been feeling quite a bit of fear and doubt the past few days?
I guess my stance is intimacy. Not the kind of intimacy where I’m “peaceful and honest” in my conversations with others, even though that is often times the result of the kind of intimacy I’m talking about. It’s the kind that has to do with my relationship with Soul which speaks to me through my heart and emotions.
I have found that no thought, opinion or stance is needed to have a relationship with Soul, however, my emotions do show me where I stand in relation to Soul. I move much closer when I allow my emotions to be as they are without saying to myself, “I shouldn’t be feeling this!”
Where do I stand right now? I feel pretty good, so my stance is clear. I’m allowing Spirit to flow and I’m sharing with you what is “Behind the Stance”.
